Safe Sex

Safe sex is something we all need to be educated about from the time we are old enough to have sex.  Sex is a normal, biological act however, humans like to make it a dirty, bad, negative thing.  If you throw religion or politics in the mix, you have a big, confusing mess that greatly misinforms and can be potentially dangerous to the health and well being of humans.  Sex is a survival mechanism, the Limbic  System, which regulate our feelings, including love and lust, emotions, impulses and drives among countless others, can't possible by regulated, judged or changed by politicians or religious people.  God gave us this system along with hormones such as dopamine, a feel good hormone and oxytocin, the cuddle hormone.  He didn't make us biologically made for sex just to tell us not to have it or have laws regulation it.

That being said, I'm writing this from the view point of a parent, sex worker and supporter of sex education and safe sex.  I believe that we as a society has got to get a better grip and safe sex and educating our youth and even adults in our society.  With the way things are going, we are going to be less and less able to afford STD's and HIV treatment, teen pregnancies and more people on welfare due to unexpected children.  Religious leaders have got to stop quilting people into think sex is bad or goes against God.  I believe it doesn't.  What we have been doing isn't working, we still have issues that go along with unsafe sex or lack of sex education.

As a parent, I want my kids to be educated about EVERYTHING in this world, the good and the bad.  Of course, it's very important to keep things age friendly.  As far as sex goes, I feel that if I don't make sure my children are educated, someone else will and it could be in a bad way.  It's my job to protect my children and raise them to be responsible, productive, healthy and happy adults.  If I took the advice of the Pope (no disrespect to him), I would be teaching my children not to use condoms when they decide to have sex.  Kids are going to experiment with sex in one way or another.  I certainly don't teach my kids to go into the world and get naked with every person they see.  I teach them about their bodies, respecting themselves and others and when they feel their ready, to be safe.  When my son had his first girlfriend, he came to me and told me he wanted to have sex with her and asked me for condoms.  Being the protective Mama Bear I am, I gave him at least 30 condoms and told him to let me know if he needed more.  The look on his face was priceless.  I patted myself on the back a little...I try to keep open communication with my children and I feel, at least in this case, it worked.  Failing to educate my children will be to fail them.  I'm not willing to fail my children.

When I was in high school, I went to a high school in Mississippi for my sophomore year.  Going to small school in the south from a school in the Chicago suburbs was like going from Chicago to Mars for me, it was just so different and clearly not anywhere the same as far as sex education.  Sex education was a part of our normal curriculum since 5th grade in Illinois.  I remember only one pregnant teen in high school my freshman, junior and senior year.  During my one year in Mississippi, which does not require sex ed in the schools, it was common, teens had babies at home, babies on the way or were planning to have babies.  One teen even told me that she got pregnant to show her mother how responsible she was.  I was totally lost, I couldn't wrap my head around this.  This culture went against everything I was ever taught or lived.  The best most schools that do offer sex education in Mississippi do normally is to teach abstinence-only programs, according to thinkprogress.org.  Abstinence-only programs are only as effective as teaching kids eating an apple will keep you from getting pregnant, they simply don't work.  Mississippi has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the nation. New Mexico has no sex education requirements, they have the second highest teen pregnancy rate.  New Hampshire, on the other hand, requires comprehensive sex education in their schools that includes abstinence, condoms and contraception, according to thinkprogress.org and they have the lowest rate of teen pregnancy.  I don't think this is a coincidence.  Studies show that teens who have comprehensive sex ed in their schools are 60% less likely to get pregnant.

In the porn industry, we are very protective of our bodies, contracting an STD can mean the end of our shooting careers.  No one wants to get sick.  We are tested regularly and we don't have to work with anyone we might think is irresponsible in their personal lives.  Most performers I know are very careful in their personal lives.  We either use protection or are only with one partner.  Although most of us do bareback on camera, we are not advocating for unsafe sex.  With all the measures we can take to keep ourselves safe, condoms, monogamous personal relationships, testing, we can never eliminate the risk of disease or pregnancy, only minimize it.  I have never had and STD and I wasn't a teen mom, I credit that fact to my education and knowledge that started in the 5th grade.

Humans have been well aware of STD's for a very long time now.  according to today.com, condoms can be dated back to 1000 BC when Egyptian men used linen sheaths to protect against disease.  in the 1700's, animal intestines were referred to as "cobweb against infection".  In the 1800's, rubber became the popular material to make condoms out of and in the 1900's, we started using latex.  In the 1950's, we started widely marketing condoms.   Since then, we got even more creative and now we have condoms made of polyurethane, their thinner and stronger, and we have various shapes, sizes, colors and even flavors.  It's a beautiful thing.  We have known for a very long time how STD's are spread and pregnancy occurs.  STD's know no gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.  To think that avoiding sex with a certain group of people is a safe way to keep us healthy is plain ignorant. 

It doesn't matter who you're having sex with, if we are not aware of the risks and are careless, we might as well play Russian Roulette.  If we don't educate our children, we are doing nothing short of putting the gun to their heads.  This isn't political or religious, it's human safety and health as well as biology and psychology.  It's better to make informed, educated decisions than to ignore this natural subject and watch our youth and ourselves get hurt.

God Bless!!