What defines me?

I love this question and the more I answer it, the more I get to know me and like me.  I realized through the past few years of asking myself and answering this question that I'm a very complex, multi-talented, intelligent and loyal person.  I wasn't expecting to find the things out about me that I did.  I also have realized that knowing what defines me gives me confidence, security in myself, strength and the ability to handle situations and people that could be more difficult.

Very often, others will define my whole person by one element of my life.  The fact that I'm a porn star comes with sterotypes that just don't fit me.  I very often get dick pictures e mailed to me with vulgar language.  I am a sensusal, sexual person however, random dick pictures with comments like "Do you like my cock?" and "I want to fuck you" do absolutely nothing for me.  Guys do this because I have done adult films and besides realizing that there is a human behind Becca Blossoms, they define me as someone that breathes, eats and sleeps fucking.  Another gentleman who I was chatting with on Yahoo while getting some work done on the computer asked me what I was doing.  I said "I'm working" and his response was "Your fucking right now?"  He obviously defines me as someone who only fucks for a living and doesn't realize that's one of the things I do.  I'm sexual, sensual, I love to perform, I love what I do.  Performing on film does not define me as a person, I use who I am deep down inside to help me to perform well.  If I were only defined by the fact I did adult films, I wouldn't have any fans, my work would be terrible and I wouldn't be so comfortable with what I do, proud of the films I have made and would be empty inside.

Another thing that I'm often defined by is the myth that all adult performers are on drugs, drink excessively and like to party all the time.  I often get offered drugs and get invited, when I'm out, to go out to someones car and do a few lines or pop some pills.  I have never done drugs except for smoking pot.  I'm a very light, social drinker and often don't drink when I go out.  I've always been a health nut so the whole party scene doesn't really appeal to me.  I'm offended when someone offers me drugs simply because they think I do them because I'm an adult entertainer.  Not all of us spend our time partying and messed up on something.  I'm not defined by the myths of being a porn star.

Some of the things that define me are:

Loyalty, I'm a very loyal person.  I have strong family values and I'm very loyal to my family and friends.  I'm also loyal to the sex workers that have confided in me and have became a part of SWOP-Wisconsin.  You will never find me stabbing anyone in the back, using them, being dishonest or turning my back on anyone I love. 

Integrity, how I conduct myself, allow myself to act and where I allow my head to go are all things that define me.  Of course, being human, we all make mistakes or allow our thoughts to wonder off where they shouldn't.  I try to catch myself when this happens.  I use my words, actions and thoughts to do the best I can to be the best person I can be.

Spirituality, I'm a very spiritual person, I have a relationship with my higher power that has grown and changed through time.  I feel a connection with the universe and with people.  I'm a practicing Buddhist and through Buddhism I have grown spiritually healthier, connected deeper with my higher power and my own soul and have been blessed with a peaceful, rewarding, loving life.  My feet remain on the ground.  No amount of money, success, who knows me or who I know can ever replace my spirit and soul.  They are things I work hard to keep healthy and grow, and they are never negotiable.

Hard Working, this is something that has been put in me since my childhood.  I come from the typical middle class, hard working, Midwestern family.  I have no problem getting up and going to work and doing my best.  It doesn't matter if I'm performing, directing, meeting a new producer, dong my web cam, running SWOP or volunteering with one of the many organizations I work with in my community.  It's very important that I work hard, give it my all and at the end of the day know that I did my best, I accomplished something.  I'm not afraid of a little dirt, solving problems, or being the only one working my butt off.  I don't believe in taking hand outs, when times get tough, I get creative and find ways to work more or make the work I'm doing work better for me.

Happiness, this is a choice, not something that happens to me.  I choose to be happy and work hard to stay that way.  I know that working out, having creative outlets, working hard, making good life choices, etc. all contribute to my happiness.  Happiness is the result of good life choices.  When I look back in my life and see periods of time where I wasn't happy, it's always due to life choices.  I'm not talking about things that happen that keep us from being happy such as a flat tire or the death of a loved one.  I'm talking about not feeling happiness and joy from deep within me.  When I'm not happy, I now I need to change a choice I have made.

Independent, this has worked for me and against me.  I'm a very independent person, my mother raised me to be.  She taught me to be strong, make life work for me, make good choices and to fight for what I believe in, what I want to who I am.  This has worked against me at times.  I have to remind myself about little things such as letting the gentleman pick up the tab while on a date or asking for  help when I could use it.  I have gotten better, although it still feels a little weird when a date pays for everything. 

I cold go on and on about what defines me.  I have discovered each thing one at a time and I'm still getting to know me.  The things that don't define me are:

The tag on my clothes, I've never been one that was into wearing designer names or carrying a Gucci bag.  This just isn't me and I contribute that again to my middle class Midwestern upbringing.  I love cute clothes and shoes and I don't like cheap, poorly made anything. However, I will never spend thousands of dollars on anything article of clothing or bag, it's just  not necessary.  I look good in what I buy and no matter what I decide to wear or carry, it doesn't define me, it only says I like cute clothes :)

My house and car, these are 2 things that are often looked at as status symbols in our society.  I like a nice, clean house with a big yard.  I have cute little ranch house in a suburb that is about 50 years old.  My neighbors are great, I love living here.  My house is cute, clean, well taken care of and most of all, it's home for me and my kids.  The only part of this that defines me is the loving home I have created for my kids.  I fill my house with love and so do my children.  The value of my house isn't important.  I can provide the same loving home environment for my kids in a 2-bedroom apartment and, in fact, I have.  The same goes for my vehicle.  I have a little convertible I drive in the summer, I bought it used.  It's a cute little car, when I was looking, I wanted a convertible for the summer because I though it would be nice to drive one in the summer since I love being outside.  Although driving my little car is something I like to do, it doesn't define me.  The value isn't important, the enjoyment I get out of it is.  Enjoyment is good for my psyche and spirit.

My income, I never share what I make with anyone because it has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of person I am and doesn't make me any better or worse than anyone else.  I know how to work hard, pay my bills and provide for my family; anyone that knows me knows that I do these things well.  What is in my bank account or the value of my assets are just numbers, nothing more.


What others say about me, in a nutshell, other people don't have the power to define me.  Negative things have been said about me and the best way I find to deal with it is to ignore it.  I don't have to associate with people who see me negatively.  Their entitled to their opinion and I have no desire to try to change it or stop them from saying negative things.  I'm confident enough in myself that I know it doesn't matter.  I have a strong enough personality to let it roll off my shoulders and keep my mind on the positive things in life, there is so much more positive than negative.

I could go on and on about what does or doesn't define me.  I'm still getting to know me and so far I like what I know so far.  Answering the question "What defines me?" isn't easy or able to be answered in 30 seconds.  It's one question that I have been answering for many years now and I will always continue to answer. 

I can't help but feel even more disgusted with are legal system, not that they weren't disgusting before.  Human Trafficking is a huge hot button political issue right now.  Even I sit on the Human Trafficking Task Force in Milwaukee.  It's a serious issue that needs serious attention.  Most of us normal people can figure this much out.  Now we throw law enforcement, politicians and the worry about every one's bottom line in there and the true concern about victims of human trafficking and the bad guys gets squash under the weight of all the BS.  We now have our Federal Government giving money to municipalities to catch people that traffic humans and their victims. The problem is, very little of this money goes to human trafficking, the majority of it goes to catching independent escorts who have absolutely nothing to do with trafficking.  Independent girls are easier to catch and more likely to pay their fines.  Pimps love, love, love the independent girls, we distract the police. 

When the police to happen to stumble upon a real human trafficker and victims, our social services aren't equipped to actually help anyone.  Most helping organizations mean well however, they don't understand the victims and can do little to help them.  More education is needed for this.  Our joke of a government, starting with our ridiculous excuse for a president, doesn't care enough to make sure the money given to find bad guys and victims of human trafficking is actually used for that purpose.   I've been working with sex workers from all walks of life and areas of sex work, I'm an advocate for sexual assault victims and very often those victims are victims of human trafficking.  There isn't enough help for these people and the thought at what local law enforcement agencies are doing with money given to them to catch human traffickers makes me sick to my stomach.

Good Morning!!

I'm getting ready to head home from Hammond,IN.  I met some great people here and I most certainly will be back to Indiana...I already have some other areas in mind that I want to visit.  The only draw back was the hotel looked a hell of a lot better online than it really is.  I like to stay in nice, clean places.  Although this place isn't horrible, it's not a place I will return to.  This hotel also doesn't have a workout room...that's a huge slip up on my part and a big no no when booking a hotel for me.  I gotta work out.  I am creative and didn't go without activity however, this is something I need make sure I pay more attention to.

It's going to be warm out today, as long as it stays dry, it should be a great day to drive  home with top down on the car...that puts me in such a great mood :)



SWOP-Wisconsin and I will be hanging out at Jazz in the park on September 6, here is the info:

http://www.easttown.com/events/jazz-in-the-park/2012-lineup

I may have previously said September 23, that was a mistake. 

We want to meet people in out community, let them get to know us and have a great time.  We're working on expanding interest and getting ourselves out there.  Come out and say hello :)



I saw a news story on Fox Chicago today...and I really wish I can remember the name of the dad in this story.  The dad does triathlons and brings his daughter with him.  She has cerebal palsy and is unable to walk.  This dad wants her to experience all the out doors has to offer.  Fox Chicago showed him pulling her in a little float in the water, pushing her in a stroller and pulling her behind his bike.  I love to see parents being parents and seeing this story brought tears to my eyes.
Go DAD!!!

Hanging out in Hammond

I just got into Hammond today, I've never really spent time here.  Needless to say, I've been neglecting my fans here!!  I drove around town today and realize that it's not bad.  I found a few restaurants I plan on checking out and I already went tanning this cute little place I found.  There are also some stores I simply HAVE to check out.  I'm a HUGE bargain shopper and I think I can find some cute things in these stores. 

Speaking of bargain shopping, I always find it funny when I share my money saving techniques with people who really don't know me or the looks I get from fans when they find me in the grocery store with a hand full of coupons.  I have my middle class Midwestern upbringing to thank for my money saving skills.  My mother was awesome at stretching a dollar, we were all very well taken care of.  (I have 4 brothers).  Like anyone else, I work hard for my money and I want to make the best decisions with it.  The best thing that came out of my (most of the time) good financial decisions, I can put my kids through college :)

Now, don't get the wrong idea, some things I just can't go cheap on.  I HAVE to have Biolage shampoo and conditioner.  I will pay more for a nice hotel when I travel.  I can never, ever buy cheap meat...that's just not acceptable.  I've never cared about the tag on my clothes and you'll never see me with a Gucci bag, I think their ugly and I would never spend that money on any bag no matter what kind of social status it comes with.  There are times I will splurge...like when I bought Motley Crue tickets, 5th row center, before the tickets went on sale.  I'm not going to tell you the ridiculous amount of money I spent on them, or the shirt I bought at the concert, but I will tell you it was worth every penny.

Motley Crue...My all time favorite band!!!  I get to see them again September 8th at Alpine Valley.  My friends and I are renting a limo bus.  I didn't even know those existed!!!!  I normally won't go to any concert unless I have decent seats however, my friends will make the lawn seats well worth it.  Their a hoot and I'm most certainly blessed with them all.  Their all crazy but they keep me grounded and sane.

This past weekend was an eventful one.  My daughter had a pretty big 13th birthday party, I had kids everywhere...in the pool, house, all over the yard.  It was a great time.  A few kids seemed to linger for a few days after the party and boy did that bring back memories.   I was once a 13 year old girl and my daughter is way too much like me.  Needless to say, my mother loves that fact.

Oak Creek Sikh Shooting

As I'm sure we're all aware, there was a horrible shooting at the Sikh Temple in Oak Creek, WI.  For me, this is way to close to home as I live in Oak Creek.  There isn't a place you can go in town and not hear about this or see things that remind you of this horrible tragedy.  The Sikh Temple had hundreds of members and they were about to start their service when Wade Michael Page shot and killed 6 people.  He, at one point, shot himself after other interactions with people.  From what I gather, he was a white supremacist, even having a tattoo on his arm supporting white supremacy.  His step mother was interviewed and she claims he has a normal childhood and had friends from different races. 

I really don't want this to turn into a gun issue here.  Although Wade's gun, a 9mm, was bought legally, no amount of gun control would have stopped anyone sick enough to do this.  If you removed all the guns in the US, the sick, bad people will either find a way to get them illegally or use other weapons.  Gun control isn't the issue.  Wade was an army veteran, could his experience in the army caused him some issues that went untreated?  I really don't know however, it's something to look into and possibly learn from.

http://www.todaystmj4.com/

Let's all pray for the victims and their families and even Wade's family and loved ones.  This is going to be hard on lot of innocent people.  Let's also pray for the Oak Creek police who did a wonderful job and the organizations such as the Salvation Army and Red Cross, who not only responded very quickly but were very accommodating to the needs of the people within their culture and beliefs.  The FBI is on this case and the president issued a statement.  Regular  people from the community cam out to show support and do whatever they could. The pride and love I feel for my community for coming out and banding totterer to help brings tears to my eyes. 



On a lighter note, I'm working on getting my ass to Hammond, IN August 13 and 14.  This isn't a place where I would think to visit however, I have had a ton of requests from fans out there to visit, so I am.  I have driven through Indiana but have never stayed there for any reason.  I'm really looking forward to meeting my fans out there.


I'm working with Slut Walk Milwaukee this year and I have to say, we have some pretty incredible people working on it this year.  I will be posting when our fund raisers will be set in stone.  I plan on being at everyone I can.  I love the cause and the opportunity to meet incredible people.  I would love to see my fans at our fundraisers!!!

Stay safe everyone and God Bless!!
Becca Blossoms

It's hard to believe that in this day and age that people still actually find ways to excuse sexual assault.  SWOP-Wisconsin is once again working with Slutwalk, this is the second year for Slutwalk in Milwaukee.  We've learned so much from our first Slutwalk and I know this year is going to be better than last year.  We're working really hard to stop victim-blaming.  It doesn't matter what your wearing, what you do for a living, how intoxicated you are, where your at, what your reputation is or anything else about you, NO ONE deserves to be sexually assaulted for any reason.  I'm super excited to be a part of such a great organization.  There are some amazing people working on this, just like last year.  I will be speaking again this year.  I'm not sure exactly where I'm going to go with it however, it will have a sex worker theme to it, of course.  I'm looking forward to see who else will be speaking.  SWOP-Wisconsin will also have  our own table this year, we will be selling merchandise and answering questions about SWOP.

Here is our PSA from last year.  I think it's pretty awesome and I'm looking forward to our new one. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfg-kH3i6QM

I'm aware of all the anti porn people in our word and I sincerely try to understand where their coming from.  I find most of them to be extreme, ridiculous, mis or uninformed or simply ignorant.  Gale Dines is no exception.  I just started reading her book   "Pornland : How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality"  I just started reading this book and I have to say, it's painful.  This woman has a lot of learning to do, she's full of a lot of opinion with no substance.  One of the things that sticks out to me so far is her complaining about people in the porn  industry conducting them as a business.  Well...duh, it IS an industry ran by people whose livelihoods depends on their earnings from the porn industry.  Who wouldn't conduct themselves as a business?  This is one of the first complaints she writes about in her book. 

Dale Gines actually knocks pron producers for being in porn to make money.  Well, we all need a source of income and there is nothing wrong with someone choosing the adult industry to make their money.  I make my money through the adult industry.  I'm an honest, hard working woman with her priorities straight and I guarantee I'm not the only one in adult like this.  Gale is making money off the ridiculous book she wrote, she has no right to knock the people working in adult.  In a way, she is making money off the adult industry, if the industry didn't exist she would have to find something else to write a book of ridiculousness about. 

Gale claims to have studied the porn industry for 2 years, her writings, so far, fail to reflect that.  She is closed minded, biased and seems like a bully when someone doesn't want to agree with her.  I'm still researching and reading her book.  I will be blogging more about it.  So far, I find Gale Dines unimpressive, immature, a bully and, worst of all taking away from the truth.  When you take away from the truth, nothing good happens.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WvZWK4n2ck&feature=related


In this clip, Gale claims that there is little rape in porn because women say yes to everything.  I say BS. I've NEVER done anything against my will in the industry.  No one does what they don't want to do.  I don't feel pressure to do things I don't want to do.  I've never been raped or sexually assaulted in my industry in fact, I've always been treated with respect and dignity. 

Gale wants to sue pornographers for harm.  Really?  How are you going to prove that someones choice to watch porn caused harm that is the responsibility of porn?  That's like suing McDonald's for your child being obese or blaming a rape victim for being assaulted because her skirt was too short.  At what point does Gale feel a person responsible for their own actions and well being?

Porn has been around as long as humans have been sexual beings, it hasn't killed us yet.

I'm still reading this ridiculous mess she wrote.